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[ironyman]

[Surprise, it's Tony! He's in his apartment, having hooked up devices of some kind to the network. Also he's wearing sunglasses. Yes, inside. Maybe that's to hide the lines under his eyes and overall weary, strained look, because after months of insomnia he's fraying at the edges.

Maybe it's just because he's Tony. The world may never know.]

Okay, so, granted, our benevolent huggytime captors are apparently goddamn psychopaths, since shadow demons and evil snowmen count as "no big deal" for the science department. Yeah. You got a lot of 'splainin' to do, Lucies. But come on, seriously, who really thought this was a good idea?

[he jerks his thumb behind him at two industrial robot arms in the background with chassis labeled U and DUM-E. The one labeled U spins its claw in apparent confusion, while DUM-E just makes a quizzical mechanized hum. Tony makes a disgusted face that is far too exaggerated to be sincere.]

Two most useless robots, ladies and gentlemen. Anybody want 'em? They're good for, ah... well, nothing. I dunno. Dummy's pretty good with a fire extinguisher. Aren't you, Dummy? [he glances back at the bot, which tilts its claw, then wiggles its arm up and down enthusiastically in its approximation of a nod. Tony turns back to the camera and shakes his head sadly.]

God, it's like having a kid that never grows out of the idiot phase.

[U, meanwhile, has rolled slowly out of view of the camera. Shortly after, there's a loud crash from elsewhere in the apartment. Tony jerks in surprise and bolts out of his chair.] You! I swear, I'm going to sell you to the highest bidder, give you to that magic dragon kid, let him use you as a cape rack, wand holder, whatever the hell magic people use.

Comments

[Video]

[callmewhateveryuwant]

[Oh hey it's robots! But that crash...]

Is everything alright there?

[Video]

[ironyman]

Hey, yeah, great! Just babysitting a pair of rolling disasters in an equally microscopic and crappy apartment, of course everything's alright. [Can you feel the sarcasm?]

You want 'em, kid?

[Video]

[callmewhateveryuwant]

[Wait until you see him troll Tony.]

Between the cat and roommate, it may not be a good idea.

[Shinju got freaked out enough by his personae, robots not matter how cool they are, may be overkill.]

[Video]

[ironyman]

[Trolling Tony is always A+]

Point taken. To be fair they're basically useless anyway.

[In the background, the robot labeled U lowers its claw sadly with a dejected buzz. Tony looks over his shoulder at it.] Don't give me that, you know what you did.

[detective_shirogane]

[Naoto couldn't help but stare at the elaborate set up the ... gentleman had behind him.]

I... take it you're the creator of these two, then?

[Did they have some sort of basic A.I.? They seemed to be responding to his words and actions...!]

[ironyman]

Aah, yeah. Unfortunately. [he heaves a long-suffering sigh]

In my own defense I built Dummy when I was a stupid kid.

[Video] (Whoops forgot to say this...)

[detective_shirogane]

...You built Robots as a child, who are able to respond to verbal commands, and make basic decisions.

[Okay, Naoto is definitely intrigued. What year was this guy born in?]

That would mean unless you've been completely ignoring these skills, you've progressed in creating robotics that are leaps and bounds above these two, is that correct?

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[staystraught]

I'm so afraid to ask that it's pretty much gone all the way back around to the point where I absolutely have to.

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[ironyman]

Have you seriously not seen a robot before, kid? Don't tell me that, I was starting to be mildly impressed with your tech despite your painfully bad aesthetic choices, now I'm going to be bummed out.

They're not even scary, You just broke a blender for god's sake.

video;

[staystraught]

Not what I was getting at.

You realize that, like, every single assembly line on the planet uses robots like them, right? They've been around since before I was born.

What I was getting at is, most of the robots I know personally are of the "capable of deciding whether or not to help or hinder humanity" class. Independently of creator intent, even, some of 'em.

Do you really think you should have named it "Dummy?"

Video

[drank_the_milk]

Magic dragon kid? You mean Draco?

Video

[ironyman]

Ah, is there another magic dragon kid around here? Yes, Draco, obviously, Richie Rich who makes rain clouds when he's sad.

Video

[drank_the_milk]

He's all right once you get used to him.

[blackhorse]

[They're everyday things to Tony but not to everyone else, including this guy.]

Did those robots just show emotion?

[ironyman]

[Tony could go into the replication and approximation of emotional responses programmed into a highly advanced artificial intelligence system... but that seems like it would take a long time with this guy.]

Uh... sure?

[blackhorse]

The technology of your world must be more advanced than in my own- at least in robotics. Where I come from engineers are only beginning to figure out how to program emotional signals into robots.

Those robots- did you build them yourself?

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[wontdoanyless]

Do you really wanna give them away? [Tony seems rather animated with them, even if he is insulting them. But that's just Tony.] Looks like you're rather attached, Mr. Stark.

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[ironyman]

Yeah, attached. Like a fungus.

They're the athlete's foot of the robot world, Rogers.

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[wontdoanyless]

Didn't you create them?

[He's seen the inside of Tony's apartment and that place is a mess of machines and robots.] And having a robot with a fire extinguisher ready is good for your apartment.

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[shadowsgambit]

Can't say I've ever seen a machine act like them before. Pretty sure most people don't go out of their way to give them emotional responses.

[Fortuna peers at the machine arms. They just look like basic assembly-line stuff. Why are they independent at all?]

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[ironyman]

Not to be overly cliche or anything, but I'm not most people. Just saying.

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[shadowsgambit]

Oh, you made them? What're they for?

Video;

[thenameofscreen]

[... What... was that just now? She doesn't even know, okay, but...]

Then you were gifted with sentient machines? They seem very sweet!

Video;

[ironyman]

I was gifted with two more pains in my ass than I needed. And they're not sweet, they're a menace to society. And my microwave, apparently.

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[thenameofscreen]

[As one menace to microwaves to another...]

Have you no way to contact their creator for the reprogramming?