AUDIO;

[thehardway]

I have been doing a poor job of attempting to follow a friend's advice. To try different things.

So I am... in need of some advice of how to properly. [Pauses.] How to find enjoyable activities. To r-word.

The usual methods have not been a sufficient method.

Comments

[stubbornandfrustrating]

It's... hard. To forgive them. ...to forgive Drift, I guess. I don't know.

[He stares down at his hands--Pharma's hands--and looks exhausted for a brief moment before he drags his optics back up to Magnus' face.]

...anyway. Stupid of me to assume. I just figured if you were, it'd be better to let you know that I know, and be honest with you than... not, I guess.

[thehardway]

I understand that feeling. But I think, truly, Drift is trying to be better.

[For a long time, Magnus would have jumped at the chance to arrest him. Now? Now it's impossible to turn his back on Drift.]

...Mm. I. Appreciate that.

What did you think? When Wing told you.

[stubbornandfrustrating]

Yeah. [Ratchet looks almost surprised at how much hearing Magnus say something like that eases the tight knot in his chest. He looks at Magnus for a long moment, his expression softening, before he returns his optics to his hands.] Yeah, you're right.

I initially thought he was full of it, which I guess I should have stuck with. But mostly I was surprised that you'd take an interest in me specifically. Couldn't really see why. Then I was angry with him for saying anything at all--complete nonsense or not, it wasn't his place, and I know you're a private person. He had no right to do that.

[thehardway]

Right. [Here he was, advocating for Drift. He doesn't have the ability to selfishly speak badly of the ex-Decepticon, not when he knows Drift has been trying to do better and has given up so much.]

Is it really so hard to imagine why anyone would be fond of you? [He asks that a little wryly.] In... any case, no. He had no right to tell you anything like that.

I hope this hasn't troubled you.

[stubbornandfrustrating]

[He chuffs a soft laugh.]

I'm a workaholic and a righteous pain in the tailpipe on top of it, and I know it. But no, I'm not troubled either way.

[thehardway]

You're also kind, despite your behavior. I appreciate your work ethic and you're the most trustworthy person I know. There are several reasons any person could become interested in you.

[stubbornandfrustrating]

[Ratchet opens his mouth to protest again, his optics warm, but something in Magnus' expression draws him up short and he just watches him for a long moment, understanding flickering in his optics.]

Well. Thanks. ...it's the same for you, y'know.

[thehardway]

[That makes him stiffen slightly, and Minimus looks away sharply.]

I wouldn't agree on that. But thank you for saying it.

[stubbornandfrustrating]

Huh. You said I was trustworthy, right? So, trust me.

[He reaches out impulsively and touches his fingertips to Magnus' shoulder, his optics warming a little.]

And, we can still do something to relax, if you want.

[thehardway]

[It's harder to take in. Would Ratchet say those things because that's how he feels, or because he's being kind? Magnus isn't sure.

But it'd be ... silly to chase it, wouldn't it? Or maybe he's just been so used to Tyrest's conditioning that he doesn't think he should. Or maybe it has to do with all that's happened with Rewind and Prowl that he thinks it's a bad idea. Or further back, with Rewind overall.

This is difficult. Sometimes he wonders if he should never take the armor off at all.

Once the hand finds his shoulder, Minimus finds it harder to relax.]

I-- what would you suggest?

[stubbornandfrustrating]

[Ratchet watches Magnus tense, drawing his hand back and feeling the corners of his mouth draw down before he shakes off the expression.]

Mmmm. Well--I'm not exactly an expert either, and I don't think looking over medical charts is going to do much for you, for some reason. What do you normally do to unwind?