02 - Welp (backdated to the 24th)

[agelostdoll]

((ooc: had meant to put this up a few days ago but I had to clean a virus off my PC; sorry about that!))

[Asuka - the eyepatch'd one - comes onto the screen... and looking none too good. Pale, bags under her eye and shivering despite a blanket and a heavy jacket. Yeah. Even her voice is hoarse:]

Anyone wondering about that side effects thing... well, it's pretty fucking confirmed. I'm about three weeks in; haven't touched anybody. Said I would a while ago; experiment.

Fever, headaches, sleep disruption... I think I'm starting to hallucinate. I'm calling it off.

They're not lying about that.

Private text to greenteengenius

you want your scans make it quick

Private text to favored_four_eyes

could use a hand

Comments

[agelostdoll]

...It's not something I'd like to speculate on. Frankly, I don't think he's the type to lie. He's not exactly that subtle. There'll be a reason. Most likely, he thought it was necessary at that point. Only he'd know.

Everything he's doing he's doing for your sake, or at least, 'the sake of Shinji Ikari'. [the parallels are not lost on her and it is not making her comfortable with the idea.

She's long established it in her mind that this Shinji and the brat were different people. So did that mean, from the Angel's point of view, any Shinji Ikari would do? Could he even tell the difference?]

[forevalone]

...If the me from your world showed up, do you think he'd leave me for them? Even though he met me first?

[agelostdoll]

...

He'd probably try to save both of you. It's something you'd have to discuss with him, not me.

[forevalone]

If the me from your world showed up, would you try to kill him too?

[agelostdoll]

...

[well this is entering difficult territory. She has a lot of anger and hatred towards the name Ikari; talking to this one involves suppressing it to remain civil. Intellectually, she knows he's not the same person, so that's his defence from the darker parts of her mind.

But him asking her to bring up him and what she'd do... with the same voice, same face, same name... lines are going to get blurred. She knows this.

A very cold, very deliberate calm creeps into her words as she keeps herself very carefully neutral.]

Possibly.

I tried to kill you then because I thought you hadn't caused Third Impact yet; it was a chance to save billions of lives. If he's from before then, I will do it again. If he is not, it's too late anyway.

But I will not let him run away from the consequences of what he has done.

[forevalone]

Don't let him run away.

<sub>[Might sound funny coming from Shinji of all people, but he can't help but say it. He tells himself that enough and although he tries to follow his own advice, it's hard. Even though this other him isn't here, he can't help but feel disdain toward them. Shinji isn't very good at loving himself in the first place - after hearing what he'd caused in Asuka's world...he might as well be dead.

Of course, that's his own opinion, driven more so by the fact he can think somewhat clearly here and that Kaworu is alive. Maybe it's a bit biased and unfair, but at the moment he doesn't care.]</sub>

...Do you think it'd make a difference though? If it's possible for Kaworu-kun to know me and have existed in your world and the fact this place exists...what's to stop the possibility of him returning to where he came from if you killed him?

[agelostdoll]

[to be fair, the account of him he's getting is from Asuka. Who is also, shall we say, biased and unfair.]

...

Force him to stay here, you mean?

It's possible... but there, the situation's different. All the Angels where you're from are dead right? So there's no more left to fight. That wasn't the case at Near Third Impact.

He'd made his decision to fight. It was actually kind of funny, you know? Almost as soon as we woke him up, he was begging to help out with Unit 01. As if we'd be that crazy.

[forevalone]

...Why wake him up?

_{[Begging to fight? That didn't exactly sound like himself at all. The last thing at this point that Shinji wanted to do was fight anything.]}

If he was such a threat why was he kept alive in the first place? Why didn't you just keep him asleep?

[agelostdoll]

[Asuka laughs dryly]

You sound like Akagi.

Misato. Misato's why. We wanted to give you a chance. The operation was more to recover Unit 01 anyway. If you had the boy that triggered Third Impact as well, wouldn't you want to say something?

Besides, we had to test if it had affected you or not. We don't age. I have contaminant crap under my eyepatch. There's too many scientific unknowns when it comes to piloting. Every one of us is a valuable specimen.

[forevalone]

_{[Give him a chance? It doesn't exactly sound like much of a chance.]}

So he became simply a test subject. _{[Not 'I' - he doesn't want to think of it that way. The more he can detach himself from the situation the easier it is to swallow. It's always been about Unit 01. He knew that, sure, but he doesn't like being reminded of it.]} Did anyone properly explain things to him when he woke up?

[agelostdoll]

[to be fair, they just needed it for the Wunder's engine. They didn't need to stick him in it. It was more a case of studying the long term effects of piloting as a comparative against Asuka and Mari and figuring out if NERV had done anything to him over the fourteen years]

...We would have, given the chance. We were attacked almost as soon as he'd been recovered.

Bastard sent a Rei clone, so naturally he thinks its the one he's saved and we're all lying to his face.

[forevalone]

_{[The mention of a clone of Ayanami triggers causes him to freeze up slightly. Reiquarium flashbacks aren't exactly a pretty thing to recall.]}

Would you have, though? Explained it all? No one has ever explained anything to me straightforward and without bias my whole life. Never. Not my Father, not Misato-san, not Kaji-san or even Kaworu-kun. Everyone is always talking in what feels like riddles to me. Maybe I'm just stupid...but that's what it feels like.

I'm not...I'm not defending his choice. He made a terrible one. But if I woke up after fourteen years of being asleep and the last thing I remembered was trying to save Ayanami...or anyone for that matter...and I remembered people not hating me but I'm suddenly faced with hostile faces and tempers...I would believe the person who is most familiar to me and doesn't want to immediately strangle me, even if that person is just a copy of the original.

_{[He pauses slightly.]}

If you can even call Ayanami 'original'...

[agelostdoll]

Perhaps. But given the fleet was under attack, we had more important concerns at the time. Once we were free from that they sat him down. They were quite literally briefing him when the Ayanami showed up. Should we apologise for being angry? It's only human nature.

As for Ayanami... no idea. Technically speaking, her original is probably your mother, Yui Ayanami, but in terms of personality there are considerable differences.

The one that lived the longest was the second one back when we were teenagers. She was around for 10 to 12 years, according to Akagi. I'd call that one the original 'Rei'.

[forevalone]

_{[Give him a moment, he feels like he's going to be sick. A hand reaches up to cover over his mouth as he turns his eyes away. It's a bit traumatizing to have your suspicious confirmed 100%. To hear, once again, that your dead mom has been used as a base to make clones from. It sends a shiver down his spine and bile up his throat.]}

...I hope she never comes here.

[agelostdoll]

[Asuka only shrugs]

It doesn't particularly matter either way. If they lose one, they only drag another one out anyway. They definitely feel emotions; it'd be interesting to see what one's like when your dad's not around teaching it to just be a tool.

[forevalone]

Of course she feels emotions...Ayanami wasn't soulless, Asuka.

_{[But he can't help but shake his head at the second part. It's just...too much for him at the moment.]}

I don't...I couldn't face her now.

[agelostdoll]

[actually, technically speaking she is, it's just that not having a soul doesn't really matter all that much. But that's beside the point right now]

If one does show up, me and Mari will handle it.

[forevalone]

...What will you do with her?

[agelostdoll]

[another shrug]

Keep an eye on her, really. She'd be about as useless as the rest of us here, anyway.

[forevalone]

I suppose that's true...