audio;

[arnhaid]

Look, uh.

[Awkward pause. Wow, maybe he should have asked someone to write this for him.]

I... ain't gonna pretend I know exactly what's goin' on with all this spooky scrap and random messages.

But I do know there's some bots who are gettin' nervous. Probably means there's organics feelin' the same way.

[Another awkward pause -- good job Ironhide, you said three sentences.]

... My name's Ironhide. If anyone's feelin' uncomfortable, or freaked out... I used to do bodyguard work.

I'll come keep an optic on you, if that'd help.

[Because he has to do something. Anything. Standing around, hiding out. It doesn't feel right, and it's sure not helping anything anymore.]

Comments

[beforetights]

How come? Aren't you made of metal?

[arnhaid]

Not everything made outta metal is shiny.

[beforetights]

Then are you rusty?

[arnhaid]

What? No.

[beforetights]

Well, you said you aren't shiny. Then you have to be rusty.

[That line of reasoning makes perfect sense to him.]

[arnhaid]

Wh-- no, it's not one or the other. There's like... there's a scale.

[beforetights]

[He's so confused that it's starting to make his head hurt. As a result, he starts getting irritated.]

No there isn't! You're either shiny or rusty!

[arnhaid]

Yeah, there is.

Look, I ain't rusted, but that doesn't mean I'm all polished up.

[beforetights]

Prove it! Show me what you look like!

[arnhaid]

Okay.

[Hold on, give him a second to fiddle with the thing and -- BAM. Video feed.]

There. See?

[beforetights]

[He falls silent when he sees that Ironhide really isn't very shiny or rusty.]

...Oh. I guess you're right.

[He blushes and shrinks away, embarrassed by his previous behavior.]

[arnhaid]

Yeah, see?

No reason to get all worked up.

[beforetights]

Sorry.

[He mutters.]

It's just that all the other robots here are shiny.

[arnhaid]

You don't gotta apologize, I ain't mad.

Well... they probably take better care of their armor than me.

[beforetights]

Why don't you take good care of your armor, then?

[arnhaid]

'Cause it doesn't need to be pretty to do its job.

[beforetights]

[He lets out a little giggle.]

I know that. My sword isn't all that pretty, but I can still use it!

[arnhaid]

Well, there you go. Same kinda thing.

[beforetights]

[He nods.]

And what do you use to protect people? Do you have a sword?

[arnhaid]

Nah. Either a big gun, or just plain punchin' them 'til they quit being upright.

[beforetights]

...Oh.

What's a gun?

[arnhaid]

... Uh.

Little cannon?

[beforetights]

What's a cannon?

[Since he's from a time before firearms, he doesn't know what either weapon is supposed to be.]

[arnhaid]

... It's a big tube that goes boom.

[beforetights]

That sounds awesome! Can you show me?