AUDIO;

[forcowardice]

So, I guess I'll get around to actually introducing myself, seeing as how we're all probably gonna be here awhile.

Hi there! I'm Fulcrum. Unlike most of you, I'm a Cybertronian. That means I don't have a shred of organic bits in me. I'm all metal, wires, and all that good stuff.

Now, I've only spoken to a couple of you organics, but I'd like to learn a little more about the rest of you. I haven't really interacted with too many organic species in the past, and now's my opportunity to learn more! If you're willing to share.

Comments

[triggerhappycopter]

Yeah, that's pretty gross. [He doesn't seem horrendously grossed out though.] Think this gunk's gonna start getting sentient? Wish we had some degreasers, just in case.

[forcowardice]

Oh hell no. Please don't imply that little gooey guys are gonna start having thoughts in my plating. Like I need the thought to keep me up at night. [He shudders at the suggestion.]

This is probably as good as it's gonna get for now.

[triggerhappycopter]

Misfire says they do! I never saw a thing, but we also saw a ship with weird walls, so I ain't discounting it. [Unfortunately, Spinister is gullible enough to believe a lot of what Misfire says...]

Well, if you sit still for eight hours, I can probably manage to get your left arm cleaned up. [He's determined to finish up Fulcrum's elbow at least!]

Remember to relube after this. You got lube, right?

[forcowardice]

Spinister, I dunno if you should believe everything that Misfire says. [He cracks a grin.] But you have a good point.

I dunno if I can sit around for that long. But thanks.

Um. No? I don't really have anything.

[triggerhappycopter]

I shouldn't? [Whoa, whaaat? But Misfire was so wise! Super annoying and shootable, but so wise!]

General scrubbing then? [He shifts his focus to scrubbing down Fulcrum's back, kneeling behind the smaller mech and firmly gripping the beige shoulder to hold him in place.]

Well, I still got a bottle. Not sure it's gonna last for all four of us though.

[forcowardice]

No, Spin. No you shouldn't. [He looks over his shoulder at Spinister.] He talks a lot without really saying anything at all.

Yeah, I think I'll save the deep cleaning for when I actually have something sudsy to go with it. Not that I guess a K-Con should have to worry about decent appearances. [He squirms a little before staying still for Spinister.] Urk, careful. That's, um. That's ticklish.

I know. I'll try to find something on my own. [Maybe one of the nice Autobots.]

[triggerhappycopter]

Really? [Spinister is actually having a revelation here!]

I dunno, you clean up pretty okay and you got a great chin. Want me to do your butt? [... Well it was gonna come up at some point.]

If you find some kinda supply, get me some as well.

[forcowardice]

Yes, really. Never occurred to you?

[Well, that started off as flattering, and then that.] Uh, no! No, I can wash it myself! Spinister, you don't just... wash people's butts, okay? I can't believe I'm saying this.

S-sure. No problem.

[triggerhappycopter]

I never really thought about it. [Now that he is thinking about it, he has so many reasons to go kick that jet.]

Why not? Butts are nice. [He doesn't contest it anymore than that though and moves onto finishing up Fulcrum's other arm.]

[forcowardice]

[As much as he'd love to keep pointing out that one should not really trust everything Misfire has to say, he's pretty flustered about the butt thing. Which, he gets that it's just Spinister being Spinister, but it doesn't make it any less embarrassing.]

Yeah, I guess, but I'd... just rather take care of it myself. Thanks anyway.

[triggerhappycopter]

Well, at it's a pretty reachable part of the body anyways. [He pauses then adds,] Usually?

Anyways, there you go! [Brushes off the last bit of really bad grime and hands Fulrcum the brush.]

[forcowardice]

[He takes the brush and gives himself a moment to rinse off. Sure, he still thinks it's kind of silly to fret too much about appearances since he's a bomb, but it's nice to have a basic necessity again.]

All right, your turn. Go ahead and sit down, Spin.

[Fulcrum will probably need a stool or something. It's silly, but true.]

[triggerhappycopter]

Arright. [He shifts onto his aft, legs slightly bent and arms draped loosely over his knees, his back in the shower stream. At least Spinister isn't as tall as he used to be considering the size changes made for this world.]

[forcowardice]

[Fulcrum's still shorter, enough that he tugs over a small step ladder so he can properly reach the taller Decepticon's shoulders. Although he's not as strong, he's detail-orientated enough to make sure he's scrubbing out all of the dirt.]

Wow. When's the last time you had a good wash, Spin?

[triggerhappycopter]

[The heli utters a little sigh of contentment as the scrubbing begins, slouching over slightly. At the question, he relights his optics and scowls slightly.] Uuuuuhhh... [And so begins the arduous task of finger counting! Really, it was probably just before Razorclaw roped him up to go fight Thunderwing, however long ago that was.]

[forcowardice]

Okay, never mind. [He chuckles a little and works over Spinister's left shoulder.] I'll just assume it was a really, really long time ago?

[triggerhappycopter]

[Man, counting hurt his processors!] Yeah, kinda was?

[It didn't take very long to get dirty under the living conditions they'd had to endure though.]

[forcowardice]

Don't worry about it. I was just kind of curious anyway.

[Maybe he shouldn't ask those kinds of questions. Something that could confuse Spinister or take too much time to consider. It's still a balance figuring out how the surgeon works.]

Was there anywhere besides your back that you had trouble reaching?

[triggerhappycopter]

[Spinister can do medical and combat related maths in a few seconds flat. Amount of fluids lost, distance calculations for a plasma shot to the head, how many screws needed...

But anything else? 'Option whatever'.]

Not really? [He can reach the back of his legs pretty okay on his own... The heli pauses as something occurs to him.] Before you go lower, you should probably avoid my hub.

[forcowardice]

What, really? Is it sensitive?

[Fulcrum braces a hand against Spinister's back as he peers down curiously.]

I mean-- that's probably not my business.

[triggerhappycopter]

It's butt-touch category, roundabout. [He cranes his neck to peer over his kibble at Fulcrum. His rotors were almost completely senseless since they were melee weapons, but his hub was a bit of a different matter under the protective cover. ]

[forcowardice]

O-oh! [He raises his hands and backs off appropriately.] ...Wait a second! You offered to scrub my a-aft even though you--

[Even though Spinister totally has a butt-touch category.]

Never mind! Here! [He holds the brush out to Spinister, beyond flustered.]

[triggerhappycopter]

Didn't say I got a problem with you touching it, myself. Just thought you wanted to avoid butt-touching sorta stuff?

[He watches Fulcrum fluster, reaching back to take the brush. There might be just a teeny, tiny glimmer of amusement in those eyes.

Spinister is pretty old after all; possibly not Krok old, but old enough to comfortably offer butt-scrubs and not care terribly much if it ended up sexual or not. He's not a wildly hedonistic anti-prude, but he never fell in with the more popular ascetic crowd either.]

[forcowardice]

[His optics glow fiercely, showing how fiercely embarrassed he is right now.]

You-- you're so laughing at me. On the inside.

[triggerhappycopter]

Wouldn't you still hear that? [Vocalizers are on the inside aren't they?]