01. Primus | Audio

[5thchild]

[ Since he hasn't touched anyone yet, Kaworu is feeling the effects, but he tries to keep going as if it doesn't bother him too much (because it doesn't). Rather, he is much more curious about everyone else, to be honest.

And that's what this post is about, really.

His voice is gentle and soft, as always, and though you can't tell, he is smiling. ]

Hello. I have a question, to those who don't mind answering. If possible, would you like if your friends and the people you care about were here? And to those who do have someone, are you glad you are not alone?

[ AND for those who don't want to answer philosophical questions, Kaworu has another question ]

And since I'm still learning about what I'm allowed to do in this place, I would also like to ask. What do you enjoy doing on your free time? [ he wants to learn, but where to start ]

Comments

[Video]

[5thchild]

By now you are familiar with both Asukas present in this world, right?

It's the same. There are two Kaworu Nagisa.

[Video]

[forevalone]

_{[He swallows slowly, quietly.]}

Did...Did I kill you too?

[Video]

[5thchild]

[ he smiles very gently at that. ]

Shinji-kun, you said you didn't have to be lonely here, right? You have those you care for close to you and thus you can be happy.

It's alright now. [ aka, you don't need to think about Kaworu being killed by you ]

[Video]

[forevalone]

...I did, didn't I? I killed you too? I've killed you twice and ended the world twice.

_{[His fingers are trembling off screen as he sits and stares, face white.]}

How can it be alright?! Clearly there's something wrong with me if I keep messing up!

[Video]

[5thchild]

Shinji-kun, there is nothing wrong with you.

[ this is why he avoided this meeting. ]

It is true that along one'd path, one may meet difficult situations, some where it's difficult to even realize there can be more. But no sin is beyond redemption.

And I'm sure that no matter what path you take, you'll be able to find your way. Remember the past, but don't drown in it. Else you will not be able to see the future further ahead, that is so bright as long you allow it to be.

[Video]

[forevalone]

There's nothing bright about it. How can you say that? How can you speak so calmly about it?!

[Video]

[5thchild]

Because I know you are capable of so much, Shinji-kun.

[ Kaworu closes his eyes for a moment ]

I'm making you suffer again. I'm sorry. [ even thought he was cheerful before ]

[Video]

[forevalone]

_{[Everyone's always telling him to do this or that. Telling him he's the only one who can do X or Y. He's capable of so much? He doesn't want to be. He doesn't want responsibilities anymore. He's done with them. Sick and tired of them.]}

It's not...It's not your fault.

[Video]

[5thchild]

[ Technically, it is Kaworu's fault.

But he nods softly. ]

Past few days, were you happy? With Kaworu, Asuka-san and Mari-san?

[Video]

[forevalone]

I wouldn't exactly call it happy.

[Video]

[5thchild]

How would you call it?

[Video]

[forevalone]

Like being on vacation...but anxious as to when it'll end.

[Video]

[5thchild]

Do you want it to end?

[Video]

[forevalone]

No.

[Video]

[5thchild]

[ there is a small smile and a nod ]

I hope here you will be able to achieve the happiness you desire, Shinji-kun.

[Video]

[forevalone]

I wonder if it's even possible.

[Video]

[5thchild]

I'm sure of it.

[Video]

[forevalone]

How can you be so certain of it?

[Video]

[5thchild]

While you are alive, Shinji-kun, you still have your heart. You have everything inside of you and around you to overcome what pains you and find the happiness you desire.

I understand it may be difficult to believe, since the heart is so fragile and bruises so easily. But pain isn't the only thing there is. You have felt happiness too, and you can feel it again.

[Video]

[forevalone]

You speak as if it's easy, like it's simple to do. It's not. It's not, Kaworu-kun.

[Video]

[5thchild]

I know it's not. It perhaps one of the hardest things Man must endure. It's also the reason why some don't even believe it to be possible.

[Video]

[forevalone]

_{[Shinji falls silent for a moment before he speaks up again.]}

...How did I do it? How did I kill you?

[Video]

[5thchild]

Don't worry, it's not important.

[Video]

[forevalone]

Of course it's important!

[Video]

[5thchild]

[ sorry, Shinji, but he is only going to smile softly.

Kaworu doesn't think it's something you should worry about and not something you should know about right now. ]