touchscreens | ➊st (video)

[the entry starts with Draco suddenly leaning away from the stationary screen, looking relatively bewildered—and not looking at the camera, because he doesn't know what that is or where to find it. he leans back forward, observing the screen, and gives it an uncertain little tap. he mumbles, a little.]

Is it working, then?

[he rolls his eyes and sighs.]

Feel like a sodding idiot... Well, here goes.

[and, unsure if this is properly doing its thing or not, Draco just hopes that it's working so that he's not literally talking to a wall. Draco seems to decide looking at the screen is probably the best course of action, as he talks—so to those viewing him, his eyecontact isn't direct, but hey, it's not too off!]

Some of you've already met me; my name is Draco Malfoy. I'm a somewhat recent arrival for this embarrassment of a city.

[and, as is characteristic of his house, Draco gets straight to business.]

I heard this was probably the easiest way to contact people conveniently, since there's no other option. I'm looking for a partner—someone to rely on when I start to get ill.

[he prays people get his meaning.]

That said, besides obviously helping the health of whoever steps up to the task, you won't be doing this for nothing. I'm a wizard—I know magical abilities aren't incredibly uncommon around here, but there's a fair bit of magic that can be incredibly convenient in the—[Draco half scowls, half winces,] domestic scheme of things, I guess...

Anyway—a simple exchange of information, such as where we're living or places we frequent, and trust enough to find one another as necessary is all I ask.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[yep, this one. Tony is harder to get rid of than a bad penny, and unfortunately, exponentially more irritating.]

Ah, yes, cameras, very unintuitive. After all, they've only been around for a couple... hundred years, right?

You know, you could just get it over with and admit what rock you grew up under.

I've never seen any camera that was so inconspicuous! Not even the size of a knut!

Besides, I hadn't grown up under any rock—I grew up in wizarding society. Our ways are different. Were you thrown into my world at the drop of a hat like this, you'd be just as clueless!

Hey, I didn't say it was a bad rock. I'm sure it was a great rock. Best damn rock mommy and daddy could buy. But a rock, my friend, is still a rock.

Look, and this is crazy generous of me and due in no small part to the fact that you're kind of a mini-me only... not cool--and also you're a little pitiful so. Pathos there--but I'm going to assume you're ignorant and not just stupid. And that means a lot coming from me. If you acknowledge that you're shit at basic technology, I'd be willing to show you the ropes, introduce you to the wide shiny world of tech nobody else understands. Then you can gloat. And gloating always makes me feel better. So how about it?

[Sneering at muggle trash, or having something to be a pretentious dick about: WHICH WILL YOU CHOOSE, DRACO??]

[Draco rolls his eyes, deciding again, that Tony lacks too much context to know what the hell he's talking about. he also decides that it's not worth trying to argue that particular point, lest he waste his time.

as Tony continues, however, Draco tightens his jaw and narrows his eyes, nostrils subtly flaring at some point as his irritation wells. cuz boy howdy, no news, but Tony sure is an ass and Draco sure does have a brittle ego of some kind. so Draco goes his usual stubborn route.

also the comforting route of sneering at muggle trash. yes.]

I've no interest in inflating your ego any more than it already has on its own. I'd be loathe to let a bloody muggle take me under his wing.

[Tony furrows his brow as if something is perplexing him.]

Ah, okay, first? I'm going to assume that muggle is just another word for really generous, awesome person because I already have a skinny blond little shit in my life right now, and trust me, that's one too many. Why would I add another to inflate my ego if I don't even like the one I've got.

[he shrugs and puts his hands up in retreat before turning away slightly to poke at a hologram] But hey, your choice, have fun living like an 80-year-old grandma. Try not to stick a fork into the electrical outlet.

I don't even know what an electrical outlet is, so I'm sure I'll be fine, you ruddy git.

For such an allegedly brilliant mind, you've got a certain sore lacking in tact, you know that?

By the way, [and Draco gives a contemptuous up-and-down on Tony's screen appearance] a muggle—[and he pauses for emphasis and suspense or something. bad habits picked up from daddy.]—is human trash.

[Tony turns back to give the camera a thousand-mile stare while Draco gives him that stink-eye. Seriously?]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're calling me trash, and I'm the one who's lacking in tact? Yeah, no, sorry, doesn't work that way. And, ah, at least I'm not just throwing around made up silly words as insults, I'm offering actual solutions. [beat] Except for the little shit thing, because honestly you'll probably just grow up to be a huge asshole. I did. But hey, niceness is overrated.

Also? An electrical outlet? Is that hole in the wall that looks like a grumpy face, and when you put metal in one it makes ouchies. [a beat, where he suddenly can imagine Draco actually doing something really stupid without knowing, and for a moment he looks almost concerned] Seriously, kid, probably shouldn't mess with any of the appliances in there. Especially with the rain thing you do. Water and electricity? Not a fun combination.

➊st (video)

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[video] omg this is so late i am sorry

[video] IT'S OK I GOT REALLY UNEXPECTEDLY BUSY THIS WEEK ANYWAY

[video] everything tony says is terrible omg i'm sorry draco

[video] TONY YOU ARE VERY ACCOMPLISHED WITH YOUR CLEVER FEET IN YOUR CLEVER MOUTH

[video] THIS IS TONY'S NATURAL STATE