touchscreens | 001 ✗ video + action.

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001 ✗ video + action.

Oh, hey - I bet it's working, this time!

[ To the technologically impaired, these terminals are a little daunting - who knew you had to take your gloves off to work a touchscreen? Not to mention the thought of hooking up to some nebulous and well-populated network. He may or may not have spent the last ten to fifteen minutes talking to nobody, slowly realizing he was talking to nobody, and then trying again to figure out how to get to the Help tab.

Anyway, it's definitely broadcasting, now. Maybe. Probably. He's not trying again if it isn't. (He might.) ]

Am I really talking to all the other, uh, visitors out there? I guess that's pretty handy. Though... It feels like I've been doing a lot of talking, lately, and not a whole lot of actually getting to know the people I'm stuck with. [ Which more or less translates out of polite doublespeak to: he's tired himself out trying to figure this place out one way, how about FAQ round #2? ] So I thought, why not just ask? A little old-fashioned, I admit, but... I've got nothing to lose.

[ He shrugs, smiling thinly. ] So tell me about yourselves, okay? Or your 'worlds,' or whatever. And just 'cause it's no fair if I don't start, I'm Zack. I used to wanna travel, when I was a little younger. [ A pause, and a little more genuine humor leaks into that smile. ] I guess I sure got my wish, huh?

[ There's only so much aimlessly (but alertly) wandering around a foreign city a guy can do, so Zack's taking a break from that to ...aimlessly wander around the common floor of building #1 (having significantly more luck with the video games than with the terminals) and along the walkways between buildings (for the view, naturally).

He's not in great shape - it's actually a lot harder to remember to maintain contact with total strangers than he would've expected it to be - but he isn't exactly falling on his face, either (not that he'll be turning down any free hugs, regardless). And, of course, anybody who crosses his path - and doesn't make themselves too busy for him to accost, post haste - will most likely be finding themselves in a conversation. However one-sided. (He's not picky.) ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sure. How else do you fight a cake?

[ You have to meet it on its own level!!

...Okay he actually has no idea what he's talking about, but it's funny, so whatever. ]

Make sure you collect the frosting they leave behind, too, or you'll run out.

If I had to fight a cake, I'd eat it!

[Lloyd grins cheerfully at the thought. Bloop bloop bloop, the little guy sucks the icing back up as Lloyd maneuvers him around to each glob. Unfortunately, while he's doing that, a cupcake monster launches a jelly attack, hitting the figure on the screen smack on.]

Ow, hey! It just took one of my hearts! Dammit, that was a sneak attack! Where did it even come from? Hold still, you jerk!

[Squirt squirt!]

That might not be the best strategy. What'd you do if you got full before the enemy stopped coming at you?

[ There's no puking on the battlefield, son. Especially not rainbows. ]

...Uh-oh, looks like it's gonna start raining, soon. [ The suspiciously cheerful clouds are moving in, Lloyd!! And they are bringing deadly gumdrops with them. Which they will drop periodically, in an easily avoidable but fairly annoying pattern. ]

[Aw, come on, what's wrong with vomiting rainbows?

...other than the, you know, whole vomiting thing. Dammit, that's a good point.]

Full...? [Lloyd's expression falls.] Damn, I didn't think about that. But... couldn't I still eat some? Who wants to let a whole cake go to waste? [Even a giant cake that's trying to squash you into jelly.

Oh man, deadly gumdrops. Run, little screen guy, run! But though Lloyd tries his best...

Deadly gum drops dodged, but Lloyd's too close to the edge of one of those bottomless pits. Dodging a gum drop means- Doo doo doo... GAME OVER. Continue Y/N?

Aw man, I forgot about that trap!

Edited 2013-08-08 11:47 (UTC)

[ It's an acceptable tactical measure to create a distraction, but the rainbow vomit must be wielded with great restraint.

Because it's super gross and stuff. ]

I don't see why not, if you really wanted to. But I'm not sure if eating mutant cakes is such a hot idea, to begin with. [ With the little cake legs and cake arms and cake faces. It makes him think of mako cake, which would be a truly terrible thing, if it existed.

Totally on the edge of his seat through the deadly gumdrop gauntlet, Zack is just as disappointed when the poor, questionably innocent little avatar on screen bounces off the candycane spikes lining the walls of that endless pit and fades off screen. ]

Hey, no big deal. It's the same pattern every time, so as long as you remember that, you'll be able to get farther, next time. You can't give up on the first go, anyway.

[But ultimate attacks are meant to be abused! Every shounen video game hero knows that!

The words "mutant cake" make Lloyd wrinkle his nose.] I didn't think about it like that. I guess that would be pretty weird. How do they even make mutant cakes?

[Hitting the same button Zack had hit before to start the game again, Lloyd flashes the other guy a grin.]

Who said I was going to give up?

[Squirt squirt! Already making short work of the cake!]

If I die again, though, you want another shot? [He did kind of take over Zack's game.]

Edited 2013-08-09 13:32 (UTC)

[ I don't know. Multicolored hurl is more of a desperation move, imo.

Zack holds up both hands, clearly warding off the thought of evil animated cakes. ] Beats me. I'm hoping it's just a gimmick.

[ Because if there are real mutant baked goods, here, he's going to have to reconsider his generous opinion of the city, so far.

In any case, he's not looking to interrupt the fighting spirit going on up there on screen, though he nods when Lloyd asks him another non-rhetorical question. ]

Sure, I'll give it another go. Looks like you're picking it up pretty quick, though, for somebody who's never played any of these games, before.

[But you gotta admit, it'd be cool to see it in action at least once, right?]

Me, too. The only kind of food monsters I've ever seen are plants, and those are bad enough. Some of those things have a really mean punch.

[Don't speak too soon, Zack. Second go or not, Lloyd still loses a heart to the gumdrop rain. He makes a face, but presses on.]

I've used other kinds of controls before. At least this isn't as hard as flying a Rheaird. What about you? You made it sound like you've seen this stuff before.

[ Fascinating, maybe. Cool is pushing it. ]

Seriously? I've seen plenty of monsters, but I don't think there're any I'd compare to food, at all. Especially not the plant ones. [ Well... The 8-Eyes look a little like jello, but even that's a considerable stretch. And they definitely don't make him hungry.

The giant evil pie (and its cherry minions) coming up on screen kind of does, though. First boss fight!! ]

Only kind of. There are a couple of places in Midgar that had games like this, only they were all on these big, bulky machines. And you had to pay to play them.

[All right, fair enough. Either way, probably better from a distance.]

Seriously! Pumpkin Trees have these pumpkins on their branches as big as your head, or bigger, and trust me, you don't want to get hit with one of them. I had one send me flying twenty feet once. I swear my stomach still hurts just remembering.

[Oooh, evil pie. Damn, are boss fights allowed to look so delicious? It's distracting enough that Lloyd almost doesn't dodge one of the cherry minions in time when it tries to bop his guy on the head. Lloyd hastily sends a squirt of frosting its way, knocking it out of the fight. Too bad there's still three more minions and the pie itself to deal with.]

You have to pay? Aw man. I wouldn't get to play almost at all, then. I usually have to spend my money on other stuff, and sometimes I still don't have enough. I guess I could hunt some monsters for furs or fangs or stuff I could sell, but... [He wrinkles his nose.] That's really messy work.

[ And upwind. ]

Pumpkin Trees, huh? Never heard of 'em. ...But from the sound of it, that's lucky. [ Although a stomachache seems like it'd be the least of his concerns, if he found himself thrown a good twenty feet. Usually he doesn't land on his stomach.

Anyway, past injuries are not as interesting as how that monster pie is starting to break apart into individual slices for its last-ditch assault on the poor little sprite in the chef's hat and apron. ]

Tell me about it. No amount of money's worth all that... yuck. Besides, half of it'd have to go to Potions and Remedies, anyway.

[Oh, the impact with the ground hadn't been much fun, either, but the punch to the gut that had launched him in the first place was what he remembered clearest. Ugh, thank goodness for friends who know healing spells.]

Yeah. I try to avoid them, but it can be pretty hard if you're in a forest. I mean, how do you spot a tree when you're surrounded by trees?

[The pumpkins could be a giveaway sometimes, but if they were covered in dirt and leaves, or were hidden behind another tree...]

So what about your world? What's the worst plant you've had to fight?

[Crap crap crap! The chef just lost another heart! Only one heart left until he's dead.]

Tell me about it. Medicine's way too expensive!

[A narrow miss!]

Dammit, this monster's hard!

Edited 2013-08-13 02:48 (UTC)

The worst plant, huh? I dunno...

[ This is a tough one. While plants definitely rank high on the annoyance scale, they're not usually the top of the list in power (and a little Fire usually takes care of the worst of them). His worst experience with a plant monster is easier to pinpoint, by a lot. ]

I guess the Flower Prongs have always sort of had it in for me. They grow around my hometown, where everything's pretty green and leafy, and they're hard to spot 'cause they're so small. Or - 'cause they start small.

If you get into a fight with one, you've gotta knock it out fast, or it'll just keep on getting meaner.

[ Kind of like that pie. Although - what's that? A floating platform carrying a magic golden butane torch has just descended from the pixelated sky. Better grab it quick and power up. ]

[They start small. That sounds particularly ominous, especially in this context.]

How big do they get?

[Whoa, wait, what's that on the screen? ...okay, it's kind of hard to tell exactly what it is, with the way the picture on the screen is kind of grainy, but there's no mistaking the flame that's dancing on the end of it. Lloyd's face lights up and he instantly mashes the button to jump.]

Aw yeah! Ha ha, Zack, look! We can burn the pie to a crisp!

[His next attack shoots flames instead of icing.]!

Hah! Take that! Burn to oblivion, evil pie!

Bigger than me. [ Which should be ominous, given Zack's not exactly a little guy. ] They get some pretty nasty claws and teeth, too. If you got stuck tangling with one long enough to see it grow to that size, though, you'd have worse things to worry about - like falling asleep.

[ And then getting plant eaten. Which he assumes is terrible, but can't pass any real judgement on seeing as how it's never happened to him (except maybe in virtual reality - speaking of which). ]

Hey, all right! I didn't know there were flamethrowers in this.

[ Though apparently neither did the pie, because it is now nothing but crunchy black pixel debris. And there's the door to the next level. ]

So, how does it feel to have beaten your first boss fight? Any words of wisdom from our triumphant, returning hero?

[Lloyd gives Zack an incredulous look.]

How could anyone fall asleep while fighting a giant plant?!

[Just as Zack directs his attention back to the video game, victory fanfare starts to play. Lloyd considers the question, considers the pixel dust on the screen, and... Okay, so it was just a fake monster, just part of a game he was playing, but Lloyd still feels something like the same pleased rush when he kills a monster in real life. A huge grin spreads across his face. Victory against an evil dessert? He knows exactly what to say.]

That was a piece of cake!

That's one of its attacks. Works just like the knock-out gas some of the infantry use, or a really good Sleepel.

[ Status Effects are the bane of his existence.

Bad puns, however, are not. It takes Zack a couple of seconds, but when he does get it, he throws his head back and laughs. Not exactly boisterous, but bright and genuine. ]

Good choice! I couldn't have put it better, myself.

[Lloyd doesn't know what Sleepel is, but he can guess from the context.]

There's really monsters out there that can make you fall asleep?

[That's a startling (and alarming!) thought.]

What would keep them from killing you while you're asleep?

[But, aw yeah, someone who can appreciate his sometimes dorky humor! Hearing Zack laugh makes that grin spread even further, but more than that, he wants to see if he can provoke it again. If Zack laughed at the first pun, surely he'll laugh again at a second!]

What about saying it was easy as pie?

Whoever's got your back.

[ AND PRETTY MUCH NOTHING ELSE yeah it's kind of legitimately horrifying. ]

Though some pretty powerful armor might do the trick. I've heard there's a way to equip materia that'd help with that, too.

[ And wow, that's pretty shameless, Lloyd. Zack's laugh is more of a half-stifled snort, this time. ]

A little on the nose, don't you think?

I guess you better make sure you're always traveling with someone, then.

[And then you'd better hope that you didn't both get knocked out at once. Lloyd shudders before letting himself perk back up.]

What's materia?

[Some kind of accessory to help someone keep awake?

A half-stifled snort is good enough in this case. Lloyd laughs right back in turn.]

Hey, come on, we just fought a pie! That joke had to be made! When does anyone get a chance like that?

Or just get real used to running away.

[ Hold those shoulder buttons til it hurts. Zack's a little surprised he doesn't know what materia is, though - that's like asking "What's oxygen?" Shouldn't they have it on every world? ]

Concentrated mako. But I've got a feeling you don't mean the scientific definition. You equip it to cast spells?

[ Or to do dumb stuff like lure chocobos or breathe underwater, but the first rule of Independent Materia is we don't talk about Independent Materia. Also, it's pink, so there's that.

He's shaking his head when he laughs again. ]

Probably never again. But that's why you can't overdo it. Just one cool line to go out on, that's all you need.

[Lloyd makes a face at the idea of running away that much, but he has to admit, Zack has a point. Better to live even if you have to run away than to get eaten by a monster that knocked you out.

The first definition of materia still doesn't ring any bells, but once Zack describes what it does, Lloyd straightens with recognition. Something you can equip to cast spells? That almost sounds like...]

Does it look like a gem, or a stone? Kind of small and round?

[With a shameless grin, he hands the controller back.]

That's why I was going to let you have that line. So you could say something cool, too!

Edited 2013-08-19 23:07 (UTC)

[ It's pretty unfortunate, but being alive is a little more important than looking cool. Just a little.

Zack nods enthusiastically when Lloyd catches on, clearly relieved of the sinking suspicion that he might have to explain the whole thing before it'd even fully formed in his mind. ]

Yeah! That's right. Don't tell me they call it something else, where you're from?

[ Still, he sounds relieved.

And a little surprised, again, as he accepts the controller for the official commencement of level two. ] My bad. I didn't know this was a team effort.

[But the real question is, which one's more important: looking cool, or a sword? :3

Lloyd hesitates before answering. Dirk, his adoptive father, used to drive it home that this wasn't something he should just talk about. On the other hand, Lloyd's gotten used to people knowing about things like this, to the point that he hasn't bothered hiding the Exsphere on his hand in quite a while now. Besides, Zack already seems to know about Exspheres, too, and he seems like a really nice guy. Would there really be a problem with showing it to him?

Coming to a conclusion based more on a gut feeling than anything else, Lloyd holds up his left hand for Zack to see. Without his glove on, the small, rounded gem set into the metal plate that's apparently attached directly to his skin should stand out, plain and clear to see.]

Yeah. We call them Exspheres in my world.

[Similar to a piece of materia? Maybe. But it isn't the exact same thing. Even beyond the differences in how they're made, Exspheres really only amplify mana, making someone capable of more than they were before by boosting their natural talents. They can't just grant someone entirely new spells and skills. Whether or not Zack can pick up on those differences, though...?

A little less serious, Lloyd nudges Zack with his elbow.]

Of course it is. We're an evil pie fighting team!

[ It's a trick question!! You can't look cool without a sword. ]

Woah. I've never seen anybody with a- What is that? Is it really a part of your hand?

[ That's kind of horrifying, in its own way. But no more than the idea of ShinRa getting the bright idea to augment SOLDIERs similarly and boy is he glad he'll never be a part of that hypothetical advancement.

And only at a glance, no, he can't tell the difference between a real piece of materia and a marble. He'd have to look a lot closer, and - no offense, Lloyd - he's not super interested in getting a very close look at that piece of work.

Not that it sours his opinion of Lloyd any; he's still more than willing to be part of an evil pie fighting team. ]

All right. We'll be dessert busters together.

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