Tony Stark // Iron Man (
ironyman) wrote in
touchscreens2014-09-06 05:11 pm
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video | 0003
[So after this, in which Tony's suit went crazy and tried to kill Bucky, and Bucky went crazy and tried to kill Tony, this guy here is pretty beat up. Bandages all over from knife wounds, bruises, he's just a mess. There's a particularly nasty bruise around his neck, because a certain cyborg assassin keeps trying to strangle him. However, his snark is (perhaps unfortunately) still entirely intact.]
Anybody ever tells you fighting a guy with a metal arm is fun, they're lying to you. Just saying. There's your PSA for the day, or ah. Whatever.
[His head tilts slightly, eyebrows scrunching into a more indignant glare. He starts to cross his arms, but winces when the movement hurts his ribs. He chooses to rest them on his desk instead.]
Anyway, speaking of weird shit, which one of you dicks broke my suit? It was fine, and now it's gone all dumbass-Skynet on me. Personally, my vote's on our oh-so-helpful scientist-hosts. They're catastrophically stupid enough to mess with my stuff. Where's that lady with a stick up her ass? Maybe it was her.
Anybody ever tells you fighting a guy with a metal arm is fun, they're lying to you. Just saying. There's your PSA for the day, or ah. Whatever.
[His head tilts slightly, eyebrows scrunching into a more indignant glare. He starts to cross his arms, but winces when the movement hurts his ribs. He chooses to rest them on his desk instead.]
Anyway, speaking of weird shit, which one of you dicks broke my suit? It was fine, and now it's gone all dumbass-Skynet on me. Personally, my vote's on our oh-so-helpful scientist-hosts. They're catastrophically stupid enough to mess with my stuff. Where's that lady with a stick up her ass? Maybe it was her.
[Video]
[Yes, Tony, you are being scolded by a seven-year-old. Have fun with that.]
[Video]
Okay, well, based on context, I'm assuming you're talking about the only James I know of who has a metal arm. In which case, uh, no to everything you just said.
[Tony being rude to seven-year-olds. What a hero.]
[Video]
What do you mean 'no'? Adults are suppose to be smarter than that! They know how to prevent misunderstandings!
[Why must adults be so difficult?]
[Video]
You don't know too many adults, do you, kid?
[Video]
I know plenty of adults! I know gods too!
[Diarmuid completely misses Tony's amusement. He's too busy being as upset as a child his age can be...]
[Video]
Uh-huh. And are all of these adults like Lord So-and-So? Because I've got something to tell you, kiddo.
[Video]
[Tony, it's not nice to confuse the little boy with your snark.]
None of them have metal arms if that is what you mean! My father can turn into a swan, though! And he's a god of love. Lord Fionn is kind like Lord James. He's a brave warrior and had fought in a lot of battles!
[Video]
He's currently giving Diarmuid a look like the kid is speaking gibberish, because to Tony, he is. Swans? God of love? What the hell?? He eventually just gives up and goes with the
bestmost petty response.]Yeah, well, your brave warrior buddy tried to kill me for something I didn't do, so you know. Just saying, there's a victim here, and it's not Mr. Caveman Hair.
[Video]
Misunderstandings have two victims. That is why they are misunderstandings! Don't worry. I told him he needs to be more careful too!
[And then he feed James a spaghetti dinner and made sure he rested, but details...]
Did you remind him of something bad from his past? That might be why he reacted like that. Bad people did a lot of bad things to him, you know!
[Video] whoops late
... It's a very tiny sliver.]
Yeah. No. My suit attacked him, and he thought it was me because, I don't know, he's not. Observant or something. And yeah, I know people have done stuff to him. Just because I am a genius doesn't mean it takes one.
Why the hell's this guy hanging out with a little kid, anyway? Shouldn't he be like the, ah, boogeyman for you?
[Video] No worries!
[Oops...wrong kind of suit...]
Why would he be a boogeyman? Boogeymen are suppose to be scary and Lord James isn't scary! It's not like he is a dullahan or a Fomorian! He's really nice to me and even carried me home one night when I got sleepy and didn't want to walk.